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  • Dan Marich

Auld Lange Covid


It has been a week since we found out Linda's mom was positive for Covid, and to say we've been on pins and needles, would be an understatement. If you ever feel bored, and want to add some drama to your life, test positive for Covid during the holidays.


Apparently the virus gets vacation days too, because no testing sites are open on Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, Boxing Day, or Sundays. Linda and I had to wait until this past Monday to get tested, and just for more fun, Doris' cardiologist wanted her tested again on Monday also.


Since Doris has lost some strength because of her heart issues, laying around in bed all day, and generally not functioning at 100%, getting her to the test site adds another layer of challenges for us. Add on the frayed nerves of Linda, and her, and she was 50% positive we were taking her to the desert to leave her. (Like I'd use my own car for that, give me some credit.)


Linda and I went early Monday morning and our test was oral, and not that kind of oral you disgusting slobs. After lunch Doris was tested at a different site via the more standard nasal test. Let me tell you how much easier it is wiping a swab around your mouth than just outside your brain.


Yesterday we got our results and the news was mixed. Linda and I were negative, but Doris tested positive once again, so we've made some modifications to our house to protect us, and her.

As you can see, nothing dramatic, just some minor changes.


The second positive test for Doris has alarmed the cardiologist, surgeon, and entire staff at Eisenhower Hospital for some reason, so they've delayed her surgery for another week, at least. They insist she must be Covid negative before they will operate on her, unless she is barely alive, then all rules are off.


Linda tried to convince them she was barely alive, but they said murder didn't count. Linda said it is only murder if you can prove it and she knows 573 ways to kill someone after reading 12,349 murder mysteries. I immediately went on Amazon and ordered a bullet proof vest and new locks for the doors, for me.


There is some good news in all this and that is that none of us have any Covid symptoms. I cannot tell you what a relief that is for us all, especially for Doris. She is tough, but I'm not sure a 93 year old woman, with a heart condition, would survive a strong Covid attack.


Unbelievably, the only one in our house with any kind of health problems is Mabel, who has a stomach flu issue, and is losing things out of both ends, mainly between midnight and four AM. Good times. Sleep is way over rated.


Miraculously, she becomes fully recovered when the next door neighbor appears at the fence with dog treats. Go figure. So, to recap, we have a 93 year old lady who needs heart surgery, and is Covid positive, plus an overweight, aged Jack Russell, with the squirts and vomiting all night.


Auld Lang Syne 2020 indeed.

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