My Favorite Show

It is that time of the year, awards show season. Nobody likes to see and hear the fakery of mostly overhyped pedestrian talent struggling to get their words out on live TV like me. One of the things I learned early on in life is that I was made for the backstabbing and ego wrecking that is Hollywood and the entertainment industry et.al.

I can schmooze and fake fawn with the best of them. There are many people that are convinced I love them, when in fact I can't stand to be within five feet of them. All you need is a shrug and a smile and you've won them over. But that is a story for another day.

Today, I want to talk about why the Grammy Awards is the best awards show on TV.

First, singers are very comfortable in their skin. In fact they are so comfortable they love to show as much of it as they can and still be on TV. This would be terrible if they looked like me with my shirt off, but when you have zero body fat and abs to die for then I say show them off. And don't forget, ladies, that the slit in your dress/handkerchief you decided to go with cannot be cut too high.

Secondly, the music and performers featured on the show are wide ranging and interesting. I almost always hear someone new, or a new song, that captures my interest and will search for it the next day. I enjoy knowing what is new that is being put out there. Last night, for example, I was captivated by "The Great Divide" by Noah Kahan. Watch for yourself. https://youtu.be/SKs80r2Lp34

Third, the Grammy's are a great showcase for new talent. I love how this industry celebrates their newbies while other shows keep dragging out senile old talent that hasn't made anything watchable in twenty years. Yes, Woody Allen was a funny guy who made some memorable movies but I was in high school for his last one. I'll take an Olivia Dean over him any day. (Look her up)

Finally, and this is the most important thing in favor of the Grammy's, singer/songwriters know how to string words together into a coherent sentence that actually make sense and is interesting. In addition, they are used to being on a stage in front of large audiences and speaking to them.

It can be painful to watch other award shows as the actors/directors/producers get up on stage and give us forty five seconds of flop sweat before getting the hook and pulled offstage. For the handful that do ramble on once they receive their award, it is usually the same old same old of thanking everyone and their brother for their win, except of course for their significant other who has the pained look on their face as their name is never mentioned.

These people don't know what to say unless it is in a script. They are mostly boring, egomaniacs, and are only interested in sucking up to the latest big time producer/director for their next gig because they already wasted the forty three million they just got for the last movie on drugs, rehab, and a fifteen thousand square foot loft in New York. Singers could give two shits about the industry bigwigs.

The good news for me is that I don't have to waste my time watching any more of these because the Grammy's were on last night so I will be an awards show free living room going forward. Hello Olympics!