It is that time of year again in the desert. While most of the snowbirds are packing up and pulling out, there is a changing of the agenda down here. It is going to be an action packed next two months.
Before all the fun starts there is of course the twice a year marathon medical visits and testing for us. Starting last Friday between me, Linda, her mom, and my mom, we have scheduled twelve medical appointments over these eighteen days. If you eliminate the weekends it is even nuttier. That works out to be twelve appointments over twelve days.
That's right. Just like adults favorite vitamin, it is one a day. We have lab testing, heart testing, aorta testing, eye testing, and of course the favorite pastime for doctors, office visits. I'm considering opening a shuttle service to Eisenhower Medical for others in the area since we will be going there every day.
By the end of April we will all have sufficient information to know if we will survive until the fall when this all starts over again. Its like changing in and out of daylight savings time. One of the reasons we moved here was because we knew they had great medical facilities, we just didn't expect to need them 20% of the year.
While us old people are going in for our tune-ups, the kids will be invading the Coachella Valley. The next two weekends will feature the Coachella music festival. This yearly right of spring is unusual in that for two weekends the same performers, generally, will be performing.
You know it is Coachella weekend by the helicopters racing overhead 73 times a day and night as the airport shuttle takes place. You need the helicopters because stars don't ride in cars the twenty long miles from PSP to the Empire Polo Fields. That is so pedestrian.
Immediately following two weekends of Coachella, the faux country crowd shows up as Stagecoach weekend kicks off on the 29th of April. There is nothing like the surfer dudes and dudettes from Orange County walking around the desert in tank tops, Daisy Duke shorts, and cowboy boots. The ladies are dressed hot too.
The Stagecoach stars are just slightly less pretentious and we only get 57 helicopters a day flying overhead. Locals will tell you that for the next three weekends you do not want to go anywhere East of Washington Avenue because traffic will be insane.
Once Stagecoach concludes we begin phase three of the changing season down here. This is when family and friends can finally afford to come see us. The ridiculous prices for airfare and hotels have been reduced to stupid high prices and they seem almost reasonable compared to the in season charges.
First up on the sign-in sheet we have the Block family reunion with the Marich family. This week is when we renew our thrice a year meetings and tell all the old stories over and over again until brother-in-law Michael loses his hair. Oops! Too late.
This year we will be happy to welcome back to the desert niece Emily and her new fiancé Chris. Now Chris is not new, just the fiancé part is new. This will be his first exposure to the family coven in many years. The previous visit we were all told to be on our best behavior, no such instruction this time so, we'll see how long he lasts before losing his mind.
As we kick the Block family out the door we head to the airport to pick up our friends from Chicago, Tom and Teri, for a week of fun and alcohol. Bacardi will be on triple shifts this week to keep up with the demand, luckily they and Tom have a special hot line where he can keep them informed about his scheduled needs.
We are expected to take several day trips to areas outside the valley as we explore new and exciting places. All this travelling sure makes a person thirsty and hungry, luckily there are no shortages of restaurants and liquor stores in the immediate five block area.
After their departure we will have a few days to return to the Betty Ford Center for a thorough cleaning before the final wave of visitors arrives, Linda's cousin Karen. This will be the easiest part of the month since Karen doesn't drink. The bad part for her is that this is when we start to hit triple digit heat down here. The good news is that it will only last until mid to late November.
While the calendar fills up we might as well toss in Easter this Sunday and Mothers Day during the Block family reunion because, why not. I can just feel my already oversized liver growing and getting harder.
Time to get ready for day one of poking and prodding, lab work day in two hours, as the nurse tries to find a vein and sticks fourteen needles in me before being successful. Good times.