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  • Dan Marich

Cleaning The Desk


As I was going over my notes for a column I realized, that once again, I had a few ideas that weren't going to make an entire column, so here are the Evelyn Woods versions. As always, I appreciate you letting me do these.

There was another unfortunate story the other day about a five year old child left in a car alone, by mistake, and he died. Like all of you, these stories about children, pets, and even seniors, being left in a car just tugs at my heart. I feel bad for the adult who left them, and of course I am devastated for the person or pet that perished.


Since Linda and I are not parents, I asked my parental friends if they've ever left their child in the car, even for a few seconds, before going back to get them. The responses were all as I expected, unanimously voting no, and like me, stunned that anyone could do that.


Our friend, Patti, sent me a terrific link to a legal website that explained that this was called Forgotten Baby Syndrome and it happens way more than you think. Since 1990 there have been over 940 children who died in an unoccupied car, along with numerous pets, and more than a few seniors.


The article says that one of the reasons believed to be a contributing factor to the increase in deaths since 1990 is due to state and federal regulations that moved baby seats to the back seat because of concerns of injury from airbags, which became standard in 1990.


I have read many articles that suggest putting something of value in the back seat like your purse, or cell phone to remind you to look back there. As another friend, Chris, said what I was also thinking, "what, your kid isn't of value enough?"


I have nothing to add to that except to say please be careful and if you see a child or pet locked in a car alone, dial 911 and if they look to be in distress break the window furthest from them and get them out immediately.

In another blow to my childhood being left in the dust, Major League Baseball announced this week that they were ending their nearly 70 year relationship with the Topps company to be the official baseball cards of MLB.


This is another, in a series of moves by baseball to completely change the game, in order for baseball to grab the attention of the fourteen millennials who could care less about baseball. Seven inning double headers, runners starting on second base after nine innings, pitchers having to face three batter minimum, limited visits to the mound, and on and on and on.


And now this. Topps baseball cards no longer the official card of baseball. I don't care about the new company they are going with and what their relationship to baseball is at all. I will still only buy, and consider, Topps to be the brand for baseball. Take that Rob Manfredi you communist.

Just when you think you have heard it all, we've come to a new low in the ongoing fight between truth and right wing media. Remember when all the prime time Fox News liars were pushing hydroxychloroquine as the answer to your Covid concerns? Do you also remember how they suddenly stopped talking about it once people started getting really sick from it? Of course not because they never mentioned that part, or the part where several of them held huge amounts stock in the company making it, just like the former idiot in chief did.


Guess what? In the middle of a pandemic still raging, they are now pushing a new miracle cure, Ivermectin. According to Fox News prime time idiots, it is being used all over the world to cure Covid. Why isn't he US telling the people about this miracle instead of forcing everyone to get a vaccine?


In the great state of Mississippi, where they are overwhelmed with Covid patients filling their ICU's, they have a new problem now. They are being assaulted with people coming to the emergency rooms with symptoms of poisoning.


It turns out that these same dopes who won't take a vaccine that is safe, and reliable, to save their lives, are instead doing what Fox News suggested, and are racing to the feed store and buying, and using, Ivermectin to protect them from the Covid virus.


Here is the problem, that Ivermectin is not the right stuff, as Fox forgot to explain, that Ivermectin is used to remove worms from horses and is not to be used on humans ever. How freaking stupid are these people? You refuse to take an FDA approved vaccine but will shove anything into your body that Fox News tells you to take. Hospitals should just let these dopes die and improve the gene pool.

Speaking of gene pools. It seems like the LPGA can't keep themselves from promoting sex appeal over talent. Believe me I have no problem with sex appeal. For those that know me you already are well aware of the sex appeal oozing from me so I get it.


Back when the world wasn't insane, 1974-1995, Jan Stephenson (above left) was the poster girl for the LPGA. She graced the covers of magazines, from Vogue to Sports Illustrated. She was the reason many people, men, watched the LPGA. She won a few tournaments, made a lot of money modeling, and everyone says she's a wonderful person.


The LPGA took a brief break until 2001-2020 when Natalie Gulbis (above middle) hit the tour. Like Jan, she was a cover girl, model, and won one tournament, a major, The Evian. I got to know her personally as she used the Hammy putter for a while when I was doing consulting for them. She is a wonderful person, and she brought many eyes to TV, and the course, when she played.


With Natalie retiring, the LPGA has found its next face, Muni He (above right) has become the go to camera shot for television. She has yet to win in only her second full year but they say she has the talent to be pretty good. The LPGA will settle for her to be pretty, for a long time.


I have nothing against these ladies, I just wished the LPGA could find a way to bring the talented players as much notice as they do for the cute ones. More people watch the men play and have you seen some of them?


I forgot to write down the name of the movie, or TV show, I was watching at the time so I've long forgotten, but in it was one of the great lines ever written. An older gentlemen was speaking to two younger guys from the back seat of a car. In the course of the conversation he tells them, "I'm a bilingual illiterate. I can't read in two languages."


Yes it's stupid but it absolutely cracked me up, and still does every time I read it.

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