Let's Have Surgery

After years of feeling like crap, on February 5, 2017, I went to Eisenhower Medical Center where they determined that I was moments away from a massive heart attack and they inserted two stents to open one artery that was 89% blocked and the widowmaker artery which was 97% blocked.

I could not believe how great I felt the next morning when they released me and told me to start taking better care of myself. Like most heart patients I completely ignored their advice and now after living like I had nothing to worry about for the past nine years it turns out that maybe I needed to be more careful about what I was putting into my body.

I will be going in for round two tomorrow morning where the same doctor that inserted the first two stents is likely going to add twins in two other arteries. I will be in and out the same day, unless something horrible happens, so by Saturday I will feel on top of the world again.

It is a bit disconcerting that Linda is organizing my clothes for charity but I'm sure it is nothing. I love when the doctors tell you that surgery is routine and minor. It is routine and minor when it is happening to someone else, when you are involved it seems a little more than routine and minor.

The good news is that I've been through this before so I know what to expect, the bad news is that I've been through this before and hoped I wouldn't have to do it again. Just in case things go sideways tomorrow I am making myself a meatball sandwich with fries for lunch today and I have a folder for Linda with instructions for my gigantic memorial service including what songs to play and in what order. I am 100% confident that she will ignore all that but enjoy herself at the party.

Anyway, God, and Dr. Khanna willing, I will be back to my usual snarky self on Friday.