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  • Dan Marich

Company Coming


Wednesday we have friends coming to visit us from Chicago. We have not seen them in person for over a year and we are excited about them finally being able to come out to see us. We all have had both of our Covid vaccine shots so we will be able to safely navigate an agenda that will include inside and outside activities.


The main issue is, how are we going to fill in the 43 minutes each day when we aren't drinking. Really, how many times do you need to go to Walgreens each day? Sure there will likely be the occasional emergency trip to the liquor store to replenish, but if you plan right, and we have, those should not interfere with a significant amount of cocktail time.


We have most of the week planned to remain here in the greater Palm Desert area, but we are considering a couple of road trips during the visit. If we go to Idylwild that is only about an hour drive so not much of an intrusion, however, we are thinking they might like to see San Diego which would mean a little over two hours each way, or four plus hours, of not drinking, a potential deal breaker.


As a point of reference, the last time we vacationed together we went to Maui, and I would say Tom and I averaged, easily, nine hours each day sitting at the hotel beach bar consuming Mai Tai's. In fact we became so much of a fixture there the hotel printed up signs letting people know we were appearing there for daily shows. They even asked us to stay another week because we ramped up business at the bar by 200% for the 10 days we were there.


So, to think we will be sipping iced teas and playing canasta while they are here is unrealistic. However, we aren't as young as we used to be either, so sitting around at the patio bar for 12 hours a day pounding cocktails is likely not going to happen either. I think.


The plan, right now, is to keep ourselves busy until at least lunch time before we start to imbibe, after that, all bets are off. The real problem is going to come at the end of the evening when they will need to get back to their hotel room. None of us will be in any shape to drive, I can promise you that right now. Uber and Lyft have gone underground during the pandemic, and I believe the two cab drivers we have down here are on vacation this week.


Either the hotel will need to figure out how to get them back each night, or we will be Bob, Carol, Ted, and Alice-ing it here every night.


(I knew you wouldn't know what I was talking about so I have included a picture for the purposes of storytelling)


A few people have said, "what if their visit isn't as fun as you are expecting? Maybe you should put the brakes on expectations." Trust me. We are going to have a blast. In fact it might even turn out better than anticipated, which could lead to a hospital stay. I have reserved a private room at Betty Ford, here in Rancho Mirage, just in case my liver takes a turn for the worse. The good news is that my cardiologist is there too, so all things covered.


Our main fear was that the desert weather was going to have set in this late in May, but good news, temperatures will be below seasonal highs and the nights will be perfect for sitting outside drinking rum and vodka. Toss in a couple of pretzels and some Chex mix and it is party time!


Only two days before they arrive and there is still much to do. I need to find the thong bathing suit in case we go to the pool. I know we don't have enough plastic to cover the furniture in case drunk, canola oil, Twister gets out of hand. Naturally, I can't remember where I put the handcuffs so I may need to go the police supply store. Again.


So much to do and so little time left. If we survive, I'll give you an update after they leave next week. If not, then it has been my pleasure to entertain you with this blog and I'll see you at the kegger in heaven.


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