I know the headline is intriguing but trust me this is not what you think it is going to be.
Recently I've noticed that there are more stories on line telling me what I should be doing or what I should make sure I get done before I die. While I appreciate the internet trying to help me become a better person, those days are long gone.
There are stories about the food capitals I must visit like I have the need to taste quail in Istanbul or the absolute top three train trips I have to make if I want to be a complete human being. Look, I've ridden on the El in Chicago multiple times and trust me, there is no other train trip that could possible be as exciting and heart pounding as being on the El around eleven o'clock on a Tuesday night.
What got all this started was a story a few months ago titled, "Four things everyone should experience." It listed these four must do things.
Travel to see an ancient historical site. Learn about the region and its history. Get connected with the past.
Give your time and energy to a cause with nothing to be received in return. It's these experiences that enrich you the most.
Attend a major rocket launch. Experience the cutting edge of human engineering. Behold the power, fire, and awe around you.
Go away from the big city experience nature and see an unfiltered night sky come to life above you.
So, these seem like really nice and warm experiences and I'm sure that many people out there will be tempted to go do these and I wish them well in their pursuit of happiness and growth. I won't be joining them. Its not that I don't think they are worthy of experiencing, its more that, well actually, I don't think they are worthy of experiencing. Not at this point in my life at least.
In many ways I am an historical site to behold, I have very little energy and nobody is interested in what I do have, I can see a rocket launch on TV way better than in person, and I already moved away from the big city and guess what, you still can't see the stars from here either. All of those are overrated in my opinion.
I must have missed the section where it says that enjoying the sight of young people scantily dressed should be on the bucket list. And where is the Bears winning another Super Bowl on the list?
I've got four things of my own that are top of desire for my daily life.
Is it asking too much to just once sleep through the night without getting up to pee three times? On those rare nights when I almost make it completely through the night the damn dog wakes me up because she has to pee herself so now I can't go back to sleep while she is like a dead dog after ten seconds of being back in bed.
For something that is supposed to make life easier for us the home printer is a demon in disguise. If the ink doesn't run out in the middle of a fifteen page print and it is the one color you don't have a back-up for then the paper gets stuck on page six and you have to turn the whole thing off, take it apart, and start over again which is when the ink runs out.
Just once I would like to wake up in the morning without a black and blue bruise somewhere on my body. I don't know how they get there or when I banged it but there it is in all its glory every single morning. I'm beginning to think Linda is beating me in the middle of the night but she has just as many fresh bruises as me in the morning and we both are stunned by them each day.
Finally, and this is something that is going to get me on CNN for having lost my mind at the store. Why is the whole world shopping in my aisle at the grocery store every single time I'm there? It's not just the shopping but it is the leaving the cart in the middle of the aisle so nobody can get around it and the owner is two aisles over picking up the creamed corn they forgot. I also love it when two people are meeting each other for the first time over a discussion of whether Town House crackers or Sociables go better with sausage and jack cheese while blocking the aisle.
These are four must haves in my life. They will make my life better and they are all free and I am desperate to just have one time before I die to experience them. All the other stuff is not needed.
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