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Some Things Bother Me

Today I would like to share some more things about me that you may not know, or that you may have suspected, or maybe you can see them and I'm not fooling you in the least. Either way think of this as number six in a series of what the hell is in Dan's brain and why would he possibly share this with anyone.

Many people, and I know who you are, think that I'm more than a little self obsessed. You believe it is all about Dan twenty-four hours a day seven days a week. On the self obsession scale of Donald Trump on one end and Mahatma Gandhi on the other end I fall somewhere around Eddie Everybody on the scale. I can be self obsessed at times but generally I rarely think about myself in terms of why me or aren't I wonderful.

What I will cop to is being very self aware. Many of you think I blindly go through each day completely unaware of the things I am doing or saying or feeling and that could not be further from the truth. I am keenly aware of my faults, my good traits, and the things I need to work on. Do I always try to be better? No. Do I purposely do things to hurt people? Sometimes I do because I want to make a point. Am I an ass for being this way? That's your call to make not mine. The point here is that in spite of what you may see, I am fully aware of who I am.

So, Dan, you are screaming at the screen, what the hell does this have to do with anything important? I just wanted to let you know that I am aware of stuff before I climb on my soapbox today.

There are two things some people do that I really struggle with understanding and accepting. I find these character flaws to be troubling and I fairly or unfairly judge people based on them. I am certainly not perfect and clearly it is not my place to judge others but I can't help doing it anyway and no matter what they do going forward I never feel the same about them once I discover they have done this.

The first is lying. Now, we all lie occasionally. I'm not talking about the little white lies we tell like "yes honey you look slim and wonderful in that dress," or "I promise you that these radios are perfectly safe and won't blow up after five uses." Sometime you have to tell a little lie to get through a situation and that is OK. I'm talking about the whoppers some people tell like nobody can check this out and prove you wrong lies.

Think a former President as an example of a liar that bothers me. He may be an extreme case but there are plenty of others out there doing the same thing. If you are constantly lying how do you not realize that people have stopped listening to you because they know you are full of beans and whatever you are saying is worthless. Also, how have you not figured out that it is harder to remember your lies than it is to remember the truth yet?

This problem has crept into every corner of our lives today. Some in the news media are guilty of telling lies and now the whole news media is not believed by huge amounts of the world. This is a shame because a free and fair press is responsible for making sure our leaders are telling us the truth, not lying to help them cover up their misdeeds. It will take generations before we ever get back, if we ever do, to a place where the media can be trusted again.

The biggest issue I have is with people who cheat on their spouses, or significant others. For me this is something that I can never overcome in a person. Linda and I will be celebrating our 45th anniversary in October, if I can stay out of trouble until then. For a big chunk of that time I was away from home on business for more than 130 nights a year, many times over the weekend. I can look her in the eye and honestly tell her that I never cheated on her in all the time we have been together.

Does that make me special? Of course not. Many people don't cheat on their spouses and it is not even an issue for most. Are many of us guilty of pining for someone that we see on a plane, or at an event? Probably. Do we act on those thoughts? No we don't because it isn't the right thing to do.

Where I have a problem is with the people that do act on them. When you make a commitment to someone and tell them you will be with them through sickness and health, for richer or poorer, and better or worse, that is an unbreakable bond you are making with the other person and you damn well better take it to heart.

If you think that you are going to cheat on them, or that you cannot promise to really stay with them, then for goodness sakes don't get married. Why ruin everyone's lives when you know you can't obey the rules? I just do not understand people who cheat. If you can't avoid temptation in the world then that tells me you are weak minded and probably not someone I want working for me or my company. It tells me that you might give away some secrets if the right person comes swinging their hips around you.

I can tell you that I have met more than my fair share of people who I know for a fact have cheated and while I may be pleasant to them in person, I want nothing to do with them in my personal life. If you think I should turn the other cheek then you have not been paying attention to me over the years. Other than my mother, there is nobody on earth that holds a grudge better, or longer, than I do and people who cheat are on my list forever.

So, where did all this come from today? Well I read a story this morning about a baseball player, who I had always held in high esteem. He admitted to having a child with another woman while he was, and is, still married. This crushed me to read this because I always though of him as a pretty stand-up guy. I can never feel the same about him again and I'm sad about that.

Decisions have consequences and lying and cheating push you to the back of my line for people I care about. Thanks for letting me tell you this.

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