As any of you frequent readers knows, I am an uncurable Cubs fan. They may piss me off from time to time, and I can share my allegiance with another team in a given year, but its the Cubs, always was, always will be.
Having said that, when I read the prizes for their newest promotion, the "Wildest Dreams Sweepstakes", I had to re-read it to make sure I read it correctly. Here is what you can win.
"From Friday, February 24, through Tuesday February 28, fans who purchase single game tickets to regular season home games will be automatically entered into the 'Wildest Dreams at Wrigley Field' sweepstakes for the chance to win one of three prizes, including playing a softball game on the field, watching a game from a suite, or spending the night inside Wrigley Field."
Wait, what?!?!?
Playing softball on the field and watching a game from a suite, they would both be a nice prize. Spending the night at Wrigley Field, I don't think so.
What would be more fun than dodging falling concrete while you are trying to sleep, or imagine getting up in the middle of the night and not waiting in line to use the deluxe trough urinals or the backed up toilet. And those are not even the worst thing about spending the night.
Have you seen the size of the rats that are running around that ballpark? I have and let me tell you they give our overweight Jack Russell terriers a run for their money size wise. It gives me the creeps just thinking about starting to fall asleep and having six or six hundred furry friends running around you, or worse, on you. EEEGHGH!
And to give you some perspective if you've never been to Wrigley Field. The concrete section of the bricks that Ben is crawling up are almost six inches each. That makes him from nose to tip of his tail almost eleven inches long. Take out your ruler and see just how big that is.
I have to shower after going there for a day game, imagine how much water it would take for me to feel clean after spending the night there. My water bill would be astronomical. If I'm the Cubs they may want to reconsider the prize package for a slightly better prize than spending the night at a rat infested, concrete falling, likely, ghost walking around cathedral.
I just imagine them piping in Michael Jackson singing:
Ben, the two of us need look no more
We both found what we were looking for
With a friend to call my own
I'll never be alone