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  • Dan Marich

This Isn't Weather


As I was scanning thru cable last night, in a desperate attempt to find anything to watch, I stumbled upon the weather segment for one of the local news stations. The weather guy teased us with the news that a cooldown was in store for early this week. It turns out we are going to go from the low 100's all the way down to 96 on average Monday thru Thursday.


We've lived her for four years now and I still can't get used to the weather segments on TV. I get it is the desert, but really, who thinks 96 is cool? Sure it is cooler than the 116 it will be by Saturday, but 96 is not cool. And while I'm thinking of this, is sunny and hot, everyday, really weather? Shouldn't there be something different to establish a change in the weather?


On the seven hours a year we have mist down here, we get, "Breaking News! Storm Watch! We are sending you out to Eric overlooking the 10 Freeway on Bob Hope Drive." Eric then proceeds to let us know, that in fact, there is mist coming down on him but traffic is moving just fine. It's mist for god's sakes.

By the way. Speaking of weather. Have you ever seen anyone wearing a yellow slicker in public? I have been to forty-six states, and all the provinces in Canada, except for the northern territories, in my sixty-seven years on earth and I have yet to see anyone wearing one. Why are they always showing them in ads?


I digress.


Growing up in the Midwest we had weather. Hell, we had days with all four seasons in the same day. You needed to pay attention to the weather to plan your life. Down here the only thing you will learn about the weather is, well actually you don't learn anything from the weather.

Our weather people are either models trying to earn a couple of extra bucks by doing the weekend weather, or starters, hoping for a big break into either Los Angeles, or hold your breath, San Diego markets. Just about the time they figure out how the green screen works, off they go to the next chance and we get to break in a new one.

This is a weather guy. Tom Skilling has more tools and toys in his weather center than every station combined down here has in their studios. Green felt from Jo-Ann Fabrics and their little brother holding his i-phone on them while they talk about sun and heat is not even close to the great Skilling and his set-up.


If you watch his weather segments for five straight days you earn a masters in meteorology. You also learn cool words like, autumnal, graupel, and cumulous. Sunny and hot are the words you learn here. Boring. The man lives for weather and the folks in Chicago love him. Even in Chicago, the weather segments last about ninety seconds on average. On WGN, with Tom Skilling, he gets one segment for six minutes, and a follow-up for another two later.


Anyway, we are into our hot season and triple digits will be the story for the next five months, so we are just going to deal with it like we always do. Drink lots of adult beverages and make sure the air conditioner works.


Thank goodness we aren't Hawai'i or Triumph the Insult Comic Dog might visit our newsroom.


https://youtu.be/er0w8x0VXQM



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